Subject: Why?
From: Michelle Lindell

• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
• Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?
• Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
• If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• What do you call male ballerinas?
• Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
• If Wile Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner?
• Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
• Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
• Did Adam and Eve have navels?
• Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have a 's' in it?
• Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
• Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
• Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
• Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going?
• Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• What did cured ham actually have?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours and cry?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
• If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does s/he call?
• I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
• When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
• Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
• Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
• If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
• Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

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